How to Press the Reset Button
Press the reset button. Recently, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. Two jobs, many bosses, two kids, a home, a business, and health are all fighting for my attention. Everything and everyone around me is screaming I am with higher priority. Pay attention to me first.
Yes, yes. From time to time, I create these situations for myself. Whenever I take myself out of the list of to-do’s and priorities, things get out of control.
The overwhelm is real. I cannot concentrate for long. I breathe very shallowly and feel as if there is something heavy on my chest. Even my heart pushes too hard against all the worries and fears I have placed on it.
In this article, I share my views on how and why I create this mess and how to fix it by pressing the rest button. Many of the techniques I have learned from great spiritual teachers, and I am forever grateful for their work and gifts.
Why Does This Happen to Me?
Well… From a very young age, I’ve learned to work hard, fight for what’s mine, and not trust others. For years and years, I was living based on these simple principles. I’ve put a lot of sweat, blood, and tears to achieve a family, home, and two well-paid jobs so I can afford a decent life for myself and my family. All these achievements took a lot from me, and the price was high.
After discovering that I could change my life by changing my thinking habits, life became much easier. I learned to be patient, to think more optimistically, and to trust myself and others. Miracles started happening to me.
From time to time, I get excited about a project or an opportunity for growth. In these cases, my old, deep-rooted habits kick in, and start running the show. I would put in extra effort, work extra-long hours, make plans and goals, and set up deadlines. I even pre-schedule every hour of the day. Unfortunately, I would also stop trusting myself and others.
And my body reacts immediately – it stops breathing properly. I feel stuck under a heavy boulder.
But why? If I am a positive person who practices self-love and gratitude and stays connected and centered, how come I experience overwhelm and hardship?
There are 3 simple reasons:
(1) I don’t trust the Universe and my Inner Guide – deep inside me, buried under layers of past experiences and emotions, is the habit that I must do it all by myself. By default, I do not trust anyone but me. I do not believe that when it comes to something important, the Universe or my Inner Guide can help. In other words, I am not allowing Divine help. I realize that this is an old habit. I react automatically not because I believe all those things but because my body and mind do whatever they know best.
(2) I don’t believe that I have what it takes – another old belief of mine is that I don’t have what it takes to succeed. So, I automatically (yes, another habit) start reading, researching, learning, and adding up to my list of tasks. If only I stopped for a moment to realize that I have all it takes or can easily access the information, I wouldn’t overwhelm myself. But old habits are like second nature… It takes time to seed and grow them. And once they are well rooted, good luck removing them.
(3) I don’t do it for myself – whatever I do, it is not for me but for my family and my bosses. I often use the excuses that I am responsible, others expect it from me, etc. I take myself out of the picture and often disconnect (that’s why I feel this heaviness in my chest). It’s almost as if I deny myself. Which, of course, comes from the same old, same old I am not good enough. Because I don’t believe I am good enough, I seek approval from others. And the way I do it is by trying to achieve anything for them. For instance, I work extra hard to cover my family’s financial needs so they would see how valuable I am. I would push extra hard at work to prove to my bosses that I deserve to work for them. You get the idea.
So, what should I do to fix this mess? How can I improve myself and get back on track?
Here is the key: There is nothing to fix. There is nothing to improve. I am good the way I am. I am capable, skillful, and deserving. The mess is simply a result of my old habits. And all I need to do is take care of myself and remind myself how magnificent I am. I simply need to press the reset button.
3 strategies that I use to press my reset button
(1) I give myself a kind and loving pep-talk – whenever I realize that my old habits are running my life, I take a deep breath of relief. I soothe and comfort myself and I give myself a gentle talk that everything is okay and that I am doing great. To do so, I use mirror work, a technique that I’ve learned from Louise Hay. As she explains in many of her books, mirror work is talking to yourself in front of the mirror. The power of this exercise is that our brain processes twice the reassuring, loving, and kind words. First, it is when we say the words. The second time is when we see the person in the mirror saying those to us. This helps our mind to accept the truth faster.
(2) I clear my to-do list – that’s right. To get more things done, I completely wipe out my to-do list. Now that I have “nothing” to do, I don’t feel that overwhelming. And because I still have jobs, businesses, and family to run, I start progressing one step at a time. For my jobs, I have a list of all tasks and prioritize them by the due date. I also set firm working hours and don’t work outside of them. For my business, I write one thing that I need to complete before I move to the next one. Again, I set firm business hours and don’t work outside of them. For my family, I make sure to delegate some tasks and accept the way these will be completed (if completed at all).
(3) I put myself first – somehow, this is still the hardest thing to do. My experience, however, shows that this is the best thing to do. The moment I put myself first, all else starts falling into place. This is something that I learned from experience. No matter how many times I read this in the books or heard it in the videos, podcasts, and audiobooks, I didn’t believe in it until I tried it myself. I am living this life for myself, and the moment I start taking care of myself, the workload decreases, the business-related tasks get completed faster, and my family becomes more cooperative. Give it a try.
How I take care of myself
To press the reset button implies taking care of yourself. There are unlimited ways to do so. Some of my favourite routines include:
(1) I pray and meditate each morning – each morning without exceptions, I write in my journal and prepare for my day. I like to write down inspirational or motivational quotes. Some of my favourites are by Saratoga Ocean. This reminds me to enjoy my life, worry less, and believe that everything is leading me to my highest good. Next, I like to write down some blessings, such as I bless my body with love, my family, my home, and so on. I also spend a few minutes imagining my sacred space and how free, peaceful, and loved I feel. Finally, I meditate for 15 or 20 minutes. Sometimes I use gentle music, other times, I use guided meditation.
(2) I take regular breaks throughout the day – that’s right. I take a lunch break to enjoy my meal in peace without checking email, to-do lists, or meeting schedules. I take my time to enjoy my food and appreciate all I have. Another long break is when I finish my work and before I jump to my business. I take about an hour or so and do stuff that I love like playing the piano, crocheting, watching funny videos, reading magazines, and more. I also love reading romcoms, redecorating the house, and enjoying a good cup of coffee. In addition, I take short breaks throughout the day. I love walking in my garden (even for 3 minutes). When the weather is too wet or windy, I simply stare out the window and try not to think about anything
(3) I do some physical activities – working out is not something I enjoy doing. That’s why, I try alternative ways to get my body moving and my energy flowing. I love working in the garden, removing weeds, watering plants, and checking on my plants. During the winter months, I do my steps on the spot and listen to audiobooks or podcasts. This way, I don’t feel the time and the effort, and I always feel so much refreshed.
How about you? How do you deal with the stress and overwhelm? What are your favourite ways of taking care of yourself?
